:(

This week is just one of those weeks where i miss him alot MORE then normal

The end.

Ashley playing tennis lol "Kristen i don't take advice from armatures"

September 10-13

This weekend me Ashley Shaunty ( and my mom who went to my sisters and Brett who stayed with his brother) went up to Provo :) it seriously was the funnest trip since i can remember lol Thursday night we started our drive lol and me and Ashley were SO excited to see Lynn we couldn't contain our selves we were laughing till we almost peed our pants and crackin jokes that weren't even funny that EVERYONE was laughin at and singing to every musical we know REALLY REALLY loud i think Brett wanted to kill himself lol. Then we got to the house we were staying at in Cedar and instead of me and Ashley being smart and going to bed we went with telle to get her hair cut at 1:30 AM lol and didn't get home till around 3:00 AM then went to bed and got up at 7:00 to get ready to GO SEE LYNN :)))))) then when we got to Lynn's we just went straight to lunch at tacaro's which is a Brazilian restaurant(which means TONS of meat) lol with a bunch of people and i sat next to Jeffie and Lynn and Jeff was making me laugh THE WHOLE TIME hahah he ordered this raspberry juice stuff that was pretty good and we joked about it the whole time and we laughed at OLD inside Jokes to lol then after that me and Ashley and shaunty went shopping EVERYWHERE and i was the only one to spend money (go figure) lol and then that night we just had a girls night and went to diner at this REALLY REALLY good pizza place and then went home and went to bed cause me Ashley and telle could barley keep our eyes open :) lol then the next day Ashley and tori got up early and went and ran and then we all got ready for our photo shoot with BECKY EARL she is an AMAZING photographer who took pictures of me ash and telle and telle took some of us to cause its fun lol :) then that night we all went to THE LOFT (the most amazing place on earth) and that night was THE FUNNIEST / FUNNEST night of MY LIFE that i can remember lol and then Sunday we came home but i love visiting Lynn :) so when EVER anyone is going up to PROVO let me know i wanna come with you lol O my flip and me and ashley had to wear this on the way home cause gary took all our cothes back with him that morning ... we look like little nastys walkin around provo (mormon central) like this and tell and my mom thought it was funny lol

:) i love them

O my the funniest thing happened to me yesterday :) first off these ( look to the right) two cute people are my grandma and grandpa that i love so much there my moms mom and dad and i've never meet two sweeter people :) so i pull up to my house after dropping some thing off with lando and my grandparents are just walking in the door and i get out and run to the door (with landon following) to say hi and my grandpa turns to me with a puzzled look and says " You have a NEW boyfriend already ?" with the most sad confused and surprised look on his face I've ever seen and his head kinda down ... so i took him by the arm and was like "O nooo grandpa this is landon you've meet him before lol hes just a friend of mine and codys lol" and he was like "O well nice to meet you again young man ":) hahahaha and then my cute grandma was so excited to give me this cute pink like cor shade journal so i could right about how i feel while code is gone cause he was worried about me cause she remembered how hard it was for her while she was waiting for my grandpa :) how sweet is that???i just love them both so much :') and I'm lucky to have them here with me cause my grandpa is an amazing man :) (that little kids in wards he visits think he the prophet Gorden B Hinckley :) hahahah funny story)

I love to laugh

ok so things that make me happy lately
its time for a "HAPPY" blog not a sad depressing one lol
1. Going to dinner with the LEHRS tonight :) i miss them so much
and it could have either make me sad and think about code or feel more involved which it did it helped me SO much I'm so glad codes dad text me and set it up :)(and i loved his EVIL plan of going to b dubs and takin picturesto make him jealous lol sooo funny:)i love his family )
2. MY I POD WORKS AGAIN :))))) well kinda lol it works only when its plugged in so i can listen to it when I'm in my room and now i can get all the song names off of it cause i cant remember like 1000 songs lol :)
3. When people send me songs and say they remind them of me and code lol it almost made me wanna cry when coop sent me this song today on my facebook :) here's what he said "hey i was listening to a song today i thought it would help you. it reminded my of you and Cody. its "when somebody loves you" by Alan Jackson stay positive coop"how sweet is that :) lol
4. Mine and Blake's text that make me laugh my head off lol today during one of them i just got a laughing attack and didn't even know why it was crazy but he just makes me laugh so hard :) thanks for being my texting Buddie ekalb :)
and last 5. This lady is CRAZY and made me seriously almost pee my pants last night if you wanna watch the whole episode just type in trading spouses god warrior full episode it so funny but my favorite part is this part and part 3 about 4 min and 48 sec into it lol GO WATCH IT !!!you'll get a good laugh

Love Kristen enjoy :)

doesnt wanna redo any of my profiles
without him in it sigh :( this stinks

Today everything became real really fast

the fact that for the next two years


ill never see him on the stand in his suit and tie


that i won't hear his testimony over the pulpit


that well never sit in church and hold his hand


that I'm losing my best friends


that this is making me mentally and emotional drained


i think I'm getting sick over it


that i don't wanna hold it all in anymore


no I'm not OK


who ever knew doing the right thing could take such a toll


i could never be happier for him


and i know he's doing the right thing


im not ready


i thought i planned better for this


i told my self i would get sick or hurt over this


I’ve never felt so sad I literally feel like my body is dying I can’t sleep I’m never hungry and when I do eat I either throw it up or it makes me really really sick .... I know pathetic huh? :((((

so last night he got set apart and I was invited but I decided not to go I prayed about it and decided to just let his family go but after they came and got me and we went to dinner and I couldn’t sit by him I had to sit across the table which was really hard for me to just look up at him with him smiling right at me or to catch him staring at me and mouthing " I love you so much my Kristen" it made my heart hurt more than my body could handle

then don’t think bad but I slept at his house cause (his dad invited me cause his flight the next morning was CRAZY early) and I slept in his room with his sister Karli my bestie and he slept in his parents room with his dad cause he was suppose to and right before I went to bed he came in his room and we were there all alone and he got all teary and look me in the eye and said " Kristen I’m sorry I’m making you so sad ... I hate seeing you like this sigh" and I burst into tears and said " o my tiger you’re not making me sad you making me the most proud you ever had " and he said "ok I just wanted you to know I love you and I will miss you so much" and I sad "ditto my Cody" then we both went to bad I didn’t sleep much probably like an hour at the most

then the next morning he came in and woke me and Karli up at three and we all got ready to take him to the airport and me and his mom cried the whole 40 min down there then we got his bags all checked in and walked him to his gate and said bye first his mom and that killed me to watch and see her face then tine then his dad who started to cry at the good bye then Karli and then me where I put my hand out and hid my face and said" I love you do miracles in Ghana and I promise I’ll be here when you get back" and his mom started crying even harder and said o give this poor girl a hug :( so we did I got to give him a hug and have him whisper in my ear "I love you so much Kristen please keep you promise" then he turned around gave us all a big smile and walked away

I never hope you or anyone else for that matter have to go through this it’s not fun but what kinda person would I be to be the one who stopped him teaching all those people in heaven that he promised he'd find here on earth and teach the true gospel not the kinda person I wanna be I love my best friend with all my heart and I can’t wait for him to return with honor :)

Kristens ten wonders :)

Thursdays thoughts

1.I was told strawberries have more vitamin C then oranges. Whats up with that ?

2.I honestly think that my skin smells SO good after i get done tanningi think it smells like the sun weird i know what does the sun smell like? BUT its my Favoritest smell in the WORLD (and Karli agrees that my skin smells good after i tan lol)

3.I'm learning that I have a medium case of OCD its sad but it doesn't bother me that i am. I think in someways its good and I'm glad I'm like that :)(ask Chenae for cleaning I'm a total OCD FREAK)

4.I'm excited i got a free Jamba Juice today :) COLD BUSTER IS SO STINKIN GOOD (thanks Josh)

5. I hate the word "Nice" like when people say "You look nice today" and mean it i know its kinda a joke in my family to say it but when people say it and actually

mean it, it makes me wanna punch them in the face.

6.No one will ever have a good nic name for me ever i think every

nic name that people give me sucks

7 I love the smell of Pacific Paradise by Escada for Women its my

new favorite thats it right there :) >

8.I cant wait for mine and codes pictures to be done being edited and i hope i look good in them :/ lol

9. My Cody is leaving in 14 days sigh :((( Make me cry
10. I want my hair longer and thicker no more cutting it or thinning it out