doesnt wanna redo any of my profiles
without him in it sigh :( this stinks

Today everything became real really fast

the fact that for the next two years


ill never see him on the stand in his suit and tie


that i won't hear his testimony over the pulpit


that well never sit in church and hold his hand


that I'm losing my best friends


that this is making me mentally and emotional drained


i think I'm getting sick over it


that i don't wanna hold it all in anymore


no I'm not OK


who ever knew doing the right thing could take such a toll


i could never be happier for him


and i know he's doing the right thing


im not ready


i thought i planned better for this


i told my self i would get sick or hurt over this


I’ve never felt so sad I literally feel like my body is dying I can’t sleep I’m never hungry and when I do eat I either throw it up or it makes me really really sick .... I know pathetic huh? :((((

so last night he got set apart and I was invited but I decided not to go I prayed about it and decided to just let his family go but after they came and got me and we went to dinner and I couldn’t sit by him I had to sit across the table which was really hard for me to just look up at him with him smiling right at me or to catch him staring at me and mouthing " I love you so much my Kristen" it made my heart hurt more than my body could handle

then don’t think bad but I slept at his house cause (his dad invited me cause his flight the next morning was CRAZY early) and I slept in his room with his sister Karli my bestie and he slept in his parents room with his dad cause he was suppose to and right before I went to bed he came in his room and we were there all alone and he got all teary and look me in the eye and said " Kristen I’m sorry I’m making you so sad ... I hate seeing you like this sigh" and I burst into tears and said " o my tiger you’re not making me sad you making me the most proud you ever had " and he said "ok I just wanted you to know I love you and I will miss you so much" and I sad "ditto my Cody" then we both went to bad I didn’t sleep much probably like an hour at the most

then the next morning he came in and woke me and Karli up at three and we all got ready to take him to the airport and me and his mom cried the whole 40 min down there then we got his bags all checked in and walked him to his gate and said bye first his mom and that killed me to watch and see her face then tine then his dad who started to cry at the good bye then Karli and then me where I put my hand out and hid my face and said" I love you do miracles in Ghana and I promise I’ll be here when you get back" and his mom started crying even harder and said o give this poor girl a hug :( so we did I got to give him a hug and have him whisper in my ear "I love you so much Kristen please keep you promise" then he turned around gave us all a big smile and walked away

I never hope you or anyone else for that matter have to go through this it’s not fun but what kinda person would I be to be the one who stopped him teaching all those people in heaven that he promised he'd find here on earth and teach the true gospel not the kinda person I wanna be I love my best friend with all my heart and I can’t wait for him to return with honor :)

Kristens ten wonders :)

Thursdays thoughts

1.I was told strawberries have more vitamin C then oranges. Whats up with that ?

2.I honestly think that my skin smells SO good after i get done tanningi think it smells like the sun weird i know what does the sun smell like? BUT its my Favoritest smell in the WORLD (and Karli agrees that my skin smells good after i tan lol)

3.I'm learning that I have a medium case of OCD its sad but it doesn't bother me that i am. I think in someways its good and I'm glad I'm like that :)(ask Chenae for cleaning I'm a total OCD FREAK)

4.I'm excited i got a free Jamba Juice today :) COLD BUSTER IS SO STINKIN GOOD (thanks Josh)

5. I hate the word "Nice" like when people say "You look nice today" and mean it i know its kinda a joke in my family to say it but when people say it and actually

mean it, it makes me wanna punch them in the face.

6.No one will ever have a good nic name for me ever i think every

nic name that people give me sucks

7 I love the smell of Pacific Paradise by Escada for Women its my

new favorite thats it right there :) >

8.I cant wait for mine and codes pictures to be done being edited and i hope i look good in them :/ lol

9. My Cody is leaving in 14 days sigh :((( Make me cry
10. I want my hair longer and thicker no more cutting it or thinning it out

Dear worried self

"One day at a time,this is enough. Do not grieve over the past for it has gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering"

yours truly Kristen

Things That Make Me Laugh :)

Number 1 my cute boyfriend being a total dork

This is my boyfriend MY best friend :)

The one that means the world to me

Number 2 The 5 Amigos

This picture of me and my five girl cousins on the Laidlaw side who we were all born in the same year

SELF EXPLANATORY

So we were just taking pictures and all our moms were like ok everyone needs to fix there chest everyone has a little cleavage lol and this is what i got from this picture lol

ok from left to right

Megan - looks like shes trying to make them look BIGGER

Lauren- is trying to pull it up with out anyone noticing which = the smile on her face

Jana-thinking MY boobs are showing NO WAY lol

Me- thinking and saying "Stupid boob they ruin EVERY dang picture"

Rachel-thinking "Man guys i wanted them like that) lol

bhahahahahahah i love all them

Number 3 "Mr ANDREW"

This at first was a total inside joke with just me and him but then people caught on and now EVEN his parents call his stomach little Andrew hahaha cause hes bone thin and now he has a little pouch (not really)

and we were taking this picture and i was like "What the heck are you doing?" and he was like andrew wants to see the camera and the camera wants to see him hahahahaha

Part 2 coming soon enjoy :)

Things i took for granted in MY highschool years

OK lately I've been the biggest ball baby ever like ill just think of different things and cry ... but its not like a weeping cry its more like a I'm really sad but i can laugh at the same time kinda cry ya know .... its just there's so many thing i has back in my high school days which were not that long ago not long at all that i don't know like i took for granted like ....

1. The experience of going to girls camp ( and i don't mean the whole go up for one day.I mean the going up THE WHOLE WEEK and getting the full experience of girls camp ) what I'm trying to say is when i went to camp I'm not gunna lie i didn't like it much to be honest i HATE camping i hate being dirty i hate no showers i hate no beds and when i was required to go it was just like "O ya another year of girls camp" but then this year when i wasn't required to go and i didn't go i was so sad and jealous of the girls that did get to go not a bad jealous just a kinda like man i wish i could go and when ever someone would talk about it my eyes would kinda swell up with tears like they are right now lol cause you really didn't know how spiritual it is up at camp until you don't have it that summer and i really miss that spirit up at girls camp and i wish some one would have told me i was gunna miss it this much .... (and I'm not gunna lie me and Ashley cried about it for a night for about 5 min)

2. Having "YOUR GROUP" of friends - everyone knows the group I'm talkin about the people you see everyday but don't really notice it until its summer and there gone ... like for instance me Ashley Tori Morgan and Jeffie ... we would start off our morning every morning with seminary and then after we'd all go sit in one persons car and just talk it never failed it wasn't like we planned it either its just like it was something that happened every morning and now that it doesn't happen any more and were all going our separate ways like Jeffie's up at school Tori's going soon and me and ash are going to different schools here its like i took for granted being with the people that made me happy everyday and i can never get that back ... there will never be another morning where i wake up and right before i walk into school i will have just had a laughing attack with those four other people and that makes me sad :( ...

3. MY two best friends TORI WOODRUFF and ASHLEY GRAF these two were the ones that made high school what its supposed to be for a teenage girl there the two best Friends any girl could ask for and i know we'll never be the best friends we were while going to school but i love them and I'm so happy i had best friends like them while going through it all ... I'm gunna miss them and i know in time well grow apart but ill never forget all our many sleep overs , our crazy night games, shopping days, MANDALAY BAY, and going through every heart break with them sitting right there crying with me lol and visa versa 4. Having this be my LAST summer with code and its almost over and I'm scared to death what I'm going to do when it IS over and he's gone :( don't get me wrong I'm SOOO HAPPY for him to go and i know he has to and needs to and wants to go :) but i wish this summer would just SSSLLLOOOWWWW down its almost over and i feel like it just started ... blahhhhhh and i bet every one is sick of hearing me say this about code and how I'm gunna be SO lost when hes gone but its how i feel and not knowing whats gunna happen just make life a mystery i don't wanna solve i like my life now and I've said this before I'm not a fan of change but i know everything WILL be ok its just the getting to the ok part i know is gunna take a while but it will come and i just have to be patient but its never fun losing your best friend :(...

(The thing im gunna miss most, him always making me laugh ... even when hes not trying to :') )

this is my latest favorite picture of olivia that i took :)

The land of disney aka:::: happiest place on the earth so they tell me

IN TWO DAYS I WILL BE GOING TO DISNEYLAND FOR GRAD BASH

This place is called the happiest place on earth

and im so excited to go woth all my friends i cant even tell you

i love you all my senior friends and im gunna miss you all so much

but no tears now those will have to wait for graduation :]]]]

My Dream house lol